Apprehension Read online

  “I took it my junior year—that way I wouldn’t have to worry about it,” Alyssa said.

  Another tray appeared at the table and Chad sat down next to Wendy, slinging an arm around the back of her chair.

  “Anyone else taking the ACT this weekend?” he asked.

  “We were just talking about that. I am,” said Wendy.

  “Do you want a ride?”

  She shrugged. “Sure.”

  Sabrina smiled to herself. Wendy and Chad were a cute couple, except they weren’t a couple. For all the pressure Wendy put on her about Jayce, Sabrina should start pressuring her about Chad. After lunch she stopped by her locker and shoved the jacket inside. As she closed the door and turned around she almost ran right into someone’s chest. A hand reached out and grabbed her arm before she could fall.

  “Whoa there.”

  She recognized Jayce’s voice before she even looked up.

  “Oh hey,” she said straightening herself as he let go of her arm.

  “Didn’t like the jacket?” he asked, looking at the locker behind them.

  “I do, I’m just tired of getting stared at all day. Do you want it back?” she asked, already spinning the combination into her locker.

  “Keep it. There’s a game this Friday, wouldn’t want you to get cold.” He winked at her.

  Her cheeks were flushed. It was starting to get more and more obvious that he liked her but she wished he would just come out and say it.

  “Who says I’m going to the game?”

  “Come on, you know you want to. I’m sure your friends will be there.”

  “Will you be there?” she asked. That was all she really cared about.

  He shrugged. “Probably.”

  The bell rang and Jayce adjusted the gym bag around his shoulder. “I have to go. I’ll see you after school?”

  He turned around and as he left she realized she had butterflies in her stomach.

  Jayce

  He knew he needed to stop. All he was doing was leading her on to a relationship that would never work. If she hadn’t heard about his infamous background it was only a matter of time before she did. When she’d walked out of her house wearing his leather jacket she’d looked like an angel. The sleeves fell past her hands and it seemed to consume her. He wondered what it would look like on her naked skin. He shook his head and walked into his class. She was innocent and he was dangerous. She had a future and so did he but he had the idea that they were going in very different directions. The class was still mostly empty as he took a seat next to Luke at the lab table. They slapped hands and he dropped his duffle bag on the floor. It wasn’t full of coke like the other duffle bag in his car. He wasn’t that stupid, he just kept a few baggies of the mixed concoction that he and Albert had made.

  “You nervous?” Luke asked.

  Jayce raised an eyebrow. “For what?”

  “The test.”

  “Ah shit, I completely forgot.” He really didn’t make an effort to remember. School was useless at this point. He didn’t need school to become a made man and with running from one end of the city to the next he didn’t have time for homework or studying. It was a miracle that he was passing at this point. The only reason he was still in school was for his dad. Even though their relationship was basically non existent at this point. He at least wanted to finish high school so his dad had something to be proud of him for.

  “Party at my place on Friday night. You going to be there?” Luke asked.

  Jayce nodded. “Yea I have some shit I need to unload still.”

  Luke was one of the few people Jayce confided in about Cosa Nostra. Although from the outside they were very different people, they had been friends since the beginning of high school and Luke was never one to judge. Luke had his whole life planned out after high school—he was going off to a state school and then coming back to work for his father’s company. At one point Jayce could even admit he’d been a bit envious of Luke but once he’d found Cosa Nostra, a clear path for his life, he’d no longer been jealous. Of course he could tell Luke didn’t agree with what Jayce was doing but Luke never voiced his opinion out loud.

  Luke lowered his voice to a whisper. “How much do you still got?”

  “A lot.”

  Luke nodded. “I’ll invite some Lakeside people over. You know they’re loaded.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  The rest of the class slowly filled in and the teacher started handing out the test that Jayce knew he was going to fail.

  After school he walked out to the parking lot to see Sabrina leaning against his Camaro. She had put the jacket back on and he got instantly hard thinking about her wearing nothing but that. She smiled at him, showing off the set of dimples in her cheeks, as he got closer. He loved her dimples.

  “Hey,” he said.

  “Hey yourself.”

  He hit the unlock button on the key fob, and she slid inside the car. He loved the sight of her in the passenger seat of his car wearing his jacket. He would give anything to see her like this every day. He forced himself to focus on the road as he drove out of the parking lot and to her house. He was pathetic—this was the only time he had an excuse to see her and he cherished it like nothing else. He had crossed a line when he’d gone to her house the other night. But he’d been drunk, and despite his attempts to hook up with someone, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her.

  “Did you mean what you said the other night?” she asked so quietly that he wasn’t sure he’d heard her right.

  “About what?” he asked but he had a pretty good idea about what she meant. He was dropping hints left and right.

  “You asked me if I wanted to be together?”

  He moved his eyes off the road for a second to look at her. She was staring at her hands clasped together in her lap.

  He cleared his throat, focusing back on the road. “Yea I meant it. But it doesn’t matter,” he forced himself to say.

  “Why doesn’t it matter?” she asked.

  He pulled up to the front of her house and put the car in park before giving her his full attention. “I’m not someone you should be getting involved with, Sabrina.”

  “And why is that?”

  She was prying for information but he wasn’t ready to give it to her. He should just be honest and tell her all the fucked-up shit he was tied up in—that way it would scare her away and save himself the trouble.

  “I’m bad news let’s just say that.”

  She nodded. “I heard some rumors.”

  He stiffened. “What did you hear?”

  She finally looked up at him. “That you’re bad news.”

  “Whoever told you that is right.”

  Her eyebrows fused together. “I think I can make the decision about what’s bad for me or not, on my own.”

  He wasn’t sure what to say, and she climbed out of the car and went inside the house before he could reply. He leaned his head back against the head rest.

  Sabrina

  When she got in the house, she closed the door harder than necessary. Jayce had basically admitted to her that he liked her and then when she’d asked him about it he’d brushed her off and told her he was bad news. There was an entire life of his that was hidden. He was always tired, always had those black duffle bags in the back seat of his car and she wasn’t sure she really wanted to know the details of what he was doing. All she wanted to know was if he was into her and why he hadn’t made a move yet. She quickly got ready for work, managing to eat a sandwich before making the quick walk. The walk allowed her time to blow off some steam and when she made it to the diner her anger had subsided. When she walked inside, Wendy was busy taking an order.

  “Hey, Jose,” she said waving at the cook.

  “Hey, Sabrina.”

  She was starting to really love the atmosphere of the diner. It was becoming her escape—the customers were great and most of them were regulars who now knew her by name. They were usually busy enough that she did
n’t have time to think about anything besides taking care of her tables. She quickly washed her hands and started to bus a couple tables when the bell on the front door rang and Chad walked in along with a couple football players. They looked like they had just gotten out of practice.

  She smiled at them. “Hey, take a seat wherever you like. I’ll be with you guys in a second.”

  She had never seen anyone from her school at the diner. She kind of thought of the diner as a secret place. The guys sat in the corner in a rounded booth. She went behind the counter to put away the bus tub and when she re-emerged Wendy was standing next to her with a hand on her hip.

  “He’s doing this on purpose.”

  Sabrina looked around trying to figure out what Wendy was talking about. “Who is doing what on purpose?” she asked.

  “Chad. He never comes in here.”

  “And why is that a big deal?” Sabrina asked.

  Wendy sighed and pulled her to the side so they were hidden from the customers. “We got in an argument.”

  “An argument? How did you guys get into an argument so fast. Everything seemed fine at lunch.”

  “Which just reminded me that we are taking the ACT for two different reasons. He is trying to get into some big school. I’m just taking it because it’s required for community college. He wants a relationship. I don’t.” She crossed her arms over her chest. Wendy’s eyes were getting glossy as if she was holding back tears.

  Sabrina was starting to get the impression that Wendy was pushing Chad away.

  “They sat in my section. I’ll take their table. You won’t even have to worry about them.”

  Wendy nodded. “Thanks.”

  Chad watched Wendy the entire shift and once his friends had left Chad remained in the booth drinking a coke and watching Wendy until the diner closed and Sabrina had to kick him out. She felt kind of bad for Chad. He looked like a sad puppy and Wendy was putting on an act like she couldn’t care less. Once the diner had closed and Chad was gone Wendy let out a sigh.

  “I bet he is going to wait by my car now. He can’t force me to talk to him.”

  “He looks so sad, Wendy. Why don’t you just hear him out?” she asked as she wiped down one of the tables.

  “I’ve heard him out but it comes down to the same things. There are going to be so many other girls at college. Girls that are prettier and way more advance, and I can’t just stay home and act like I’m not worried.”

  “Has he given you a reason to worry before?” she asked.

  “No, but we’re also not officially together so I don’t know what he does outside of us.”

  “Just talk to him.”

  Wendy rolled her eyes. “Fine. You got the rest of this?”

  “Yea I’m good.”

  Wendy waved a quick goodbye to Jose. She walked up to Chad who was leaning against her Honda. Sabrina shook her head and continued to close up for the night. When she was finished she waved a goodbye to Jose and walked out of the front door. She wrapped her arms around herself and noticed there was a familiar black Camaro waiting outside. The window rolled down as she got closer and Jayce stuck his head out.

  “Need a ride?” he asked.

  Even though she was still mad at him from the conversation they’d had earlier she couldn’t deny that she wanted to be close to him, and any opportunity she got she was going to take advantage of it. She opened the door and got into the passenger seat.

  “Didn’t bring a jacket?” he asked, looking at her bare arms.

  She shrugged. “It’s a short walk.” She didn’t want to admit she had purposely left his jacket on her bedroom floor out of anger.

  “You have a curfew?” he asked

  “Yea, but my mom is at work tonight.”

  He nodded. “You hungry?”

  At his words her stomach rumbled.

  He heard it and smiled. “Let’s get some food.”

  She didn’t argue as he headed away from her house. They ordered from the drive-thru of a fast-food joint. Jayce drove for a bit before parking the car in an empty parking lot so they could eat. Sabrina folded her knees onto the seat and unwrapped her burger. She was starving after the long shift at the diner. She caught Jayce watching her as she took a bite.

  “What?” she mumbled, mouth full of food.

  He shook his head. “Nothing.” He unwrapped his own burger and took a bite.

  “You know I’m still waiting on that pie.” He teased.

  She smiled. “Maybe next time.”

  They ate in silence in the empty parking lot but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. It was actually kind of peaceful. She finished her burger and stuffed the wrapper into the brown empty sack. There was an elephant in the room, though, and neither of them said a word for a while, just watching the quiet street. She looked at him as he took a drink of his milkshake.

  Finally he let out a breath. “I like you,” he said. “A lot. You’re beautiful and…soft. That’s the only way I can think to describe you. You’re everything I want in a girlfriend.”

  Sabrina just stared at him, unable to form words. He was admitting what she had suspected for a while.

  “But we can’t do this. You have a future…”

  “And you don’t?” she cut him off. What he was saying didn’t make any sense. Sabrina had no idea what she was doing after graduation and maybe Jayce didn’t know what he wanted to do either. But they both had a future.

  Jayce shook his head. “I do but not one you should be involved in. You’re smart and have the world at your fingertips—I don’t want to take that away.”

  She shook her head. “How would you take that away from me?”

  “I know, you’re confused.” He said. He ran a hand through his hair as if trying to figure out how to put his thoughts into words.

  “After graduation I’m not going anywhere good. I have plans to get out of here but it comes at a cost. A cost that I don’t want you to be a part of.”

  “Once again with this what is and isn’t good for me. Maybe if you would just tell me what you’re talking about—”

  “I can’t,” he cut her off. “And it’s better if I don’t.”

  Sabrina crossed her arms over her chest, feeling hurt. Jayce had rejected her before they’d even gotten anywhere.

  “Just take me home, Jayce.” She wasn’t going to continue a conversation that wasn’t going anywhere. He didn’t say anything. He drove straight to her house without another word. She quickly got out of the car and slammed the car door shut. She was stupid to think Jayce would actually want to be in a relationship with her.

  Chapter Six

  Sabrina

  On Thursday she was standing at her locker shoving one of her textbooks inside when a guy she recognized from being on the football team leaned against the locker next to hers. She had seen him hanging around Chad a couple of times. Eric, she thought his name was. He was a pretty skinny guy for being on the football team. He had a crew cut hairstyle and was wearing his varsity jacket.

  “Hey. Sabrina, right?” he asked

  She pulled her books to her chest. “Yea.”

  “I don’t know if you remember me. I was at Luke’s party a few weekends ago,” he said.

  She didn’t remember, she barely remembered anything from that night but she played along anyways. “Oh yea, what’s up?”

  He shoved his hands in his pocket, suddenly looking nervous.

  “Are you going to the game tomorrow night?” he asked.

  Despite her protest Wendy had convinced to go to the game once again.

  “Wendy is dragging me there.”

  “Oh cool, so…would you maybe want to get a bite to eat afterwards?” he asked.

  Sabrina froze. Was he asking her on a date?

  Eric noticed her hesitation. “It doesn’t have to be anything serious just some burgers or something.”

  At the word burger she thought about Jayce. He had made it clear there was no hope for them, so why not go out with s
omeone else. She hadn’t said a word to Jayce since their fight. The car rides to school were filled with awkward silence. He’d tried to engage her in conversation the first couple of days but he’d eventually given up.

  “We don’t have to—”

  “Yea that sounds fun,” she interrupted.

  Eric’s face lit up. “Really?”

  Sabrina nodded. “Yea.”

  “Here.” Eric dug in his jacket pocket and pulled out his phone. “Go ahead and put your number in and I’ll text you after the game.”

  She quickly programmed her number in his phone.

  “See you on Friday,” he said as he walked away.

  She smiled. “See you on Friday.”

  This would be good for her. When she turned around to head to her class she caught Jayce’s eyes from down the hallway staring at her and from the look on his face he had seen the whole interaction. She smirked. This was what he wanted, this was what he was going to get. She waved at him before sashaying away to her next class.

  When school ended, Sabrina headed to Jayce’s car like normal and waited for him. He came out of the building and headed towards her. He didn’t say anything as he unlocked the car and got in the driver’s seat. She climbed inside and could instantly feel the tension. Jayce started the car and headed towards her house. His muscles were tense and he kept clenching and unclenching his jaw. She couldn’t understand how he could be so mad. She’d done nothing wrong. He’d told her that they couldn’t be together, what did he expect her to do?

  “You’re really going to go out with that guy?” Jayce asked, breaking the silence.

  “Yes, why wouldn’t I?”

  “He’s a tool.”

  “You don’t even know him.”

  “And you do?” he snapped. “You’ve barely been here a month—you don’t know anyone.”

  “Yea including you,” she shot back.

  He said nothing and pulled up to her house. Her hand hovered over the door handle.

  “If you have a good reason that I shouldn’t go on a date with Eric just say it,” she said. She was tired of whatever game Jayce was playing.

  Silence filled the space between them.